I thought a lot about it and all night I twisted and turned on the hard, cold floor. Yes, but to be true I couldn’t think much. All I could see was the little girl’s face. Her sad face ,her words choking with tears, her courage to come up to me and look me in the eyes to speak with her tiny voice. I couldn’t bear to remind myself of her words again. Arrows of pain shot through me as I thought of her sad eyes. She had a good life and I spoiled many things for her. I knew I wasn’t worth her forgiveness, yet she had come to give it to me. She was one of the very people who realised that I was also good at some point of time and it was circumstances that led me to where I an now.But the GUILT was overpowering. Yes, I cant take it any more. I gazed at my hands one last time and I could only imagine the fate I had brought upon so many people. I am sorry ,god ,for I cant live anymore. Life has become too hard for me….i took out the rope tha I stole from the store that day and made a noose. My hands were shaking. I didn’t want to die but I couldnot stay alive after that day. The noose was soon around my neck and in a few minutes I was going to DIE>


It was an early morning when my name was first announced to come out and meet her. I was surprised that someone had come to see me. She was beautiful, dark brown hair, very curly under her pretty colourful hat. She was so pretty that it was like I was seeing a streak of ‘heaven’ in her.
I have to admit ,I was shocked and surprised when she came over to meet me . I didn’t know her ,nor had ever seen her before , but she came like she knew me from a long time before. I was scared to go near her. It was like her innocence had the ‘power’ to burn me. But still I wanted to go near ..n yes I did, I did go near her…
She was looking at me with piercing eyes….there was a kind of fierce Sadness in her eyes..something that made you want to kill anything that could ever hurt her.
As I moved closer the last few months of my life replayed in my mind…
One day I was the average college student and the next day I was in the company of people who instilled in me some deep, dark feelings about my life ,my religion and my country. Those feeling grew in me as I started being more and more involved in their talks and ideas. I felt the need to do something for my religion and all my fellow men. And I never knew that this thought would take me so far that I would be away from everything else. Yes, it changed my whole outlook towards life and made me who I am now. And it is this that made me lose everything that I had for the last 22 years of my life.
She came and sat in front me . There was a glass separating us. She just sat there and stared at me for a long time. It was like a million questions were running in her mind and she had time to ask just a few. I thought she would spit out of hatred ,scream out of fear and pain but she was very calm. She gave me a half-hearted smile and said “ I never want any kid to cry like I did. Moreover I don’t want your mother to feel the pain of loss. I don’t like you. You took away a lot from my life. But yes , I forgive you for I think you did a mistake , for I believe that you too, were good at some point of time. I don’t blame you. Maybe this was god’s path for you.
I will Pray for you. I will plead for your release for I believe that you have the POWER to be good to all, to help all those you have hurt.. And I will try to give you a second chance”
Soon tears were streaming from her eyes. She was choking on her tears. She looked at me and said “ I belive you now know what you did was wrong and it changed the life of many others. Maybe you still don’t know why I am here. Well my mom was also one of the hundreds of people who died in the last bomb blast. But I still want your family not to lose you because I have felt the pain of loss”
This 10 year old girl changed everything for me. This is maybe what people call heaven,a place where you are shown all that you did wrong and still given a second chance>